May I find peace in you?
by HeroComplex122
Summary: Eight years after the death of Alois Trancy, Ciel begins having dreams of the boy that seem to haunt him, forcing him to remember the boy whose death he was slightly at fault for. Is it his guilt, or something else? Rating may be changed eventually.


(( Alright, so first off I must point out that I may not be continuing this. I want to, but I need reviews to do that. I personally haven't finished watching Black Butler, so I can't say if some of the things in this fanfic are even possible. If you have any input, please, post a review. It would help me greatly, dears! C: Also, I am aware that the first chapter of this is a bit slow. Do not fret, if I continue, I already have the rest of it planned out. Things will pick up, soon.~

I obviously don't own Black Butler. ))

It had been eight years since the Trancy household had been occupied. Either years since Ciel had dueled against the blond Trancy heir, contributing to his death. So why now, why eight years later, was Ciel was dreaming of Alois. Shifting amongst a sea of white plush blankets and plump pillows, the dark haired man ran a hand over his forehead, clenching his eyes shut. "Damn it.."

He had not slept properly for weeks because of the dreams that had been plaguing his mind. Alois, still the child that he had died as, was always in his dreams as of late. The boy would be sitting in a large, red chair; Dark red oak wood with blood red plush padding, it looked oddly shameful. As if it was a spot of filth on a clean carpet. Alois' light blue eyes were always trained to Ciel every time the young Phantomhive fell into the realm of dreams, his appearance clean and groomed. Most of the time, no words would be exchanged. They would simply sit in an eery silence, watching each other for any movement or dangers. So of course, what bothered Ciel was not the occasional hum of word from the dead child. No, it was the cold expression on the child's face. A leg crossed over the other, the young Trancy would sit with his hands folded and laced in his lap, faintly pink lips pressed into a thin line appearing as the faintest of grimaces. Soft baby blue eyes expressed the pain that was not spoken. The color and somehow feeling that they gave off vividly allowed a view into the young man's sorrows and fears, his regrets.

Looking into those naive, child like eyes, Ciel felt a pang of recognition in his heart. It was is if he was staring at a younger version of himself. A child who had been raped, beaten, abused, and had gotten lost along his path. The only difference was that Ciel had once had parents to guide him and instil in him a sense of pride and power. He had found his strength soon after suffering, and had vowed revenge on those who had done wrong by him, making him the polar opposite of Alois. Broken, Alois' innocence had died off, along with any chance of happiness and strength in his life. The abuse that he had dealt with had scarred him far too deeply physically and mentally, leaving him an unstable, crazed, lost mess of a child. Because of the suffering that both boys had struggled to survive through, Ciel held a connection to Alois that he did not have with any one other person.

Slowly, the dark haired man opened his eyes once more, deep blue shimmering along with the soft glow from the pentagram in his right eye. Sitting up carefully, he shoved the bothersome memories left from his dreams to the back of his mind and stood from his bed, baggy pants riding low on his hips. As if on cue, Sebastian entered the room swiftly and looked the twenty year old man over. No, he still looked unhealthy...

"I want some tea. Earl Gray," grunted Ciel, his pale left hand running through his hair as a sign of him being annoyed and stressed.

'Oh, so the boy still isn't sleeping...' The demon sighed silently and bowed deeply, placing his right hand over his 'heart.' "Yes, my lord." Turning on his heel, Sebastian quickly fled the room to retrieve a cup of tea for his 'young' master. After all of those years, Sebastian had decided to allow Ciel the gift of life, at least for a few years. Not because he had decided not to take his soul. Why would a demon do something so.. Nice? No, it was to watch the continuing change in Ciel; the new strength that he continued to gain. After all, the soul was like a fine wine, letting it age creates a stronger, more desirable taste. (The demon would fervently deny that the reason that he had let Ciel live was that he had grown a small attachment to the boy. Though, that could have been a large part of it.) A devilish grin formed along Sebastian's lips as he suddenly realized that yes, the soul was of so much like wine; such strange musings.

Moving swiftly into the kitchen, he set a solid black kettle over a burner on their small stove top before he carefully transferred a cup for water into the kettle before lighting the fire and waiting. Thankfully, he knew that Earl Gray tea would certainly put his master to sleep.

Ciel's sleeping habits had resulted in him being more moody, and too dazed to do any of his paper work to manage the Phantomhive toy company. Still though, even with the man's problem sleeping, he still refused to talk about any of his dreams or discomforts. In fact, he even denied that he was not able to sleep. This had worked and fooled the people around him for a week or so before Ciel began to get dark purple rings under his eyes, his expression changing from that of a stern business man to a more haggard, exhausted laborer like look. Even the Phantomhive's prized posture began to become sloppy, reflexes slowing down slightly, which made everyone worry. Even Sebastian was concerned, though it was more because he could somehow feel his master's discomforts as well. The sudden hiss of the tea kettle alerted him that Sebastian that the water was done boiling, so he quickly scooped in a few teaspoons of loose chunks of tea leafs, throwing in some milk and sugar while stirring gently. Quickly, he shut the stove off before pouring some of the tea into Ciel's favorite tea cup.

Soon after, Sebastian was striding back down the hall towards his master's room with a warm cup of tea in hand. Knocking softly on the door, he quickly entered and closed the door, setting the filled tea cup onto the other's dresser before he glanced over at Ciel.

Dazed blue eyes were staring blankly at the moon, his expression eerily relaxed. It was always so strange to see Ciel out of his wits... With a sigh, Sebastian got onto one knee and bowed slightly, closing his eyes. "Is there anything else that you need, my lord?"

"No.. Go back to your room," Ciel sighed and slowly glanced over at his servant before flicking one of his wrists out in a shooing motion. Once the demon was gone, Ciel slowly shuffled back over to his bed, sitting down besides the dresser as cerulean eyes stared blankly into the light brown colored tea. The moon's light filtered through the curtains, giving Ciel the ability to see around his room and see where his drink would, so that he wouldn't burn himself. Oh Earl gray, such an old friend... He sipped at his tea idly, a numbness slowly spreading through him as his body began to relax once more, mind falling into a deeper haze.

After that, he wasn't sure when he had set the cup aside and climbed back up onto his bed, or how he had managed to tuck the thick blankets around himself. Even before he could actually put the effort and thought into remembering what he had just done, he was unconscious once more. It felt as though he was falling, his body slowly sinking deeper and deeper into the bed until all that was holding him up was a think blanket, cradling his body in the blank obis. Then, the blanket silently tore, sending his body through the air of nothing. The white sheets seemed to melt and twist down, down, down, forming four walls, a ceiling, and a floor. The walls stretched out for miles and miles, their ends unreachable. Ciel continued to fall for a while longer before everything finally calm to a halt. Having not hit the nearly transparent floor, the dark haired man's body slowly drifted down and into a large black chair, the cushions soft and warm, inviting him deeper into the darkness to lose himself. Yet, he couldn't allow himself to relax. His eyes slowly scanned over the floor, soft gray cloud like beings floating and drifting underneath the glass like substance. The foggy phantoms gently pushed up against the barrier, seeming to wish to break it, though none of them held the strength to do do. Still though, it left Ciel with a faint sense of dread and nausea. Then, his eyes naturally shifted up to where he knew his visitor was seated.

There sat Alois, in the same red chair, with the same regretful look, and the same hunched over shoulders as if he was carrying a burden far too great. Of course, the Trancy heir was staring at Ciel, as well. The same as always, nothing had changed about the image or dream.

"Your eyes are the loveliest shade of blue.. Does your soul bleed blue, Ciel?"

Oh. Well.. There was finally some change. Ciel simply blinked in confusion and stared, caught off guard as the ghost spoke.

"Mine bleeds red." Red like the blood of his own body, or the blood of his dear brother. Red like the loss of innocence.

"Why would I know such a thing?"

"Haven't you seen the truth, yet? I'm sure that your soul bleeds blue.. Such a pitiful color from someone as powerful as you..."


End file.
